Grieving

Things you should know about Grieving

• Grief is a normal healing process when we experience loss or major life changes. Allow yourself to be normal. Allow yourself to grieve.
• The emotional pain you are feeling is because your psyche and spirit are adjusting to your loss and all the implications of that loss. Pain is a normal part of grieving.
• Your body is also affected by your loss. You will likely have physical symptoms of grieving, such as digestive upsets, changes in your sleep pattern, appetite changes, headaches and increased susceptibility to infections.
• Your energy level will be affected for a long time. You will likely find that you have only enough energy for necessary things and no creative or life enjoyment energy for at least several months. This is normal. You are not ill. Be patient with yourself.
• You likely feel as if your brain is wrapped in cotton batting. This is normal and will improve soon. Gradually, as your energy level improves, your cognitive abilities will return to their normal sharpness. In the meantime, avoid making major decisions, such as selling houses.
• Crying takes the pressure off. Just as a floodgate can save a dam, your tear ducts can allow healing tears to help you get through this time. Don’t try to prevent yourself from crying.
• Telling the story over and over again, to a friend who will listen, a support group or a counselor, may be the most healing thing you can do.
• Exercise is very important right now. Take a walk or some other exercise for at least 1/2 hour each day.
• Many people like to write. Journal writing, letters to friends, letters to the deceased, even letters to yourself – these are all ways to support yourself.
• Allow yourself as much time as it takes. The grief after a major loss can take several years. You will gradually feel better for longer stretches, but waves of grief will still hit you for a long time. This is normal.